I'm brilliant... at slacking.

I'm still a student, and I'm fucking brilliant at slacking off.

I literally cannot bring myself to do anything until the weight of a hippopotamus is on me.

I try to motivate myself to work in small steps by making little incentives for completing each step. But I'm too ballsy and tell myself to go the fuck away and indulge in these incentives until the night before what's due.

Even when I can't finish an assignment on time and it's going to be late, I find myself detaching myself from the situation so that I cannot feel the gravity of the situation and even reach the point where I imagine myself not handing in the assignment.

I'm brilliant, I'm a student, but I'm a fucking dumbass too.