Sometimes catching up with old friends is great, but sometimes I wish I didn't.

I was writing a bunch of things down lately because there has been a lot of human interaction lately, although most of it just made me want to crawl into a hole and never speak to anyone again. On the other hand, this has started to stimulate and inspire some story ideas for the Nanowrimo project I always say I'll participate in and always fail to do.

Recently I was talking with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We were high school friends, and as such friends that have moved on to separate university paths, the question of our future aspirations was brought up. I talked about mine, and the purpose of those aspirations was questioned by her. Now she's had a fair bit of drama in her high school career, she's a bit of a shit disturber herself, although nice and friendly as she is. So I should've expected it. I felt slightly insulted at her uprooting the purpose of what I wanted to do in the future, and found myself trying to bring up backup ideas and plans that I also had been thinking about. I was running away.



It was a side of me that I knew I always had and depended on, that was partially a reason for the clean social record I maintained throughout most of my years in school. But I also knew it would turn into a bigger problem and I had started to work on it by challenging myself with challenging people and challenging discussions but it's still definitely a work in progress. I like to be right all the time and I don't like to be told that I'm wrong, or to have people question my statements. If I sense an argument headed my way I don't stick around to hear it.

I don't think I expected an opposition of my future aspirations from an old friend, it threw me way off guard than it would have if it were someone new that I met at university. That was also probably why I felt so hurt at her questioning me. The fact that I could see why her argument was valid and how many other people might say the same also contributed to making me feel put down but it and it also prevented me from calling her a bitch.

This wasn't one of those things that made me want to crawl into a hole and never speak to people again. I don't think I'm ever going to publish those things on a blog. But I suppose in a way I appreciated her doubting my ideas.

The way I originally ended this blog post went completely at a random direction and I didn't like it. I contemplated deleting this entire blog post but I decided to post it so it's staying. With an abrupt ending. Good day.